


As Ordered

by Celandine



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Romance, Sex Toys, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-22
Updated: 2009-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-12 04:05:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celandine/pseuds/Celandine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard's not getting what he wanted... or is he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Ordered

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngelaSnape](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelaSnape/gifts).



"Captain?"

Jim's voice crackled slightly through the communicator. "What is it, Bones?"

"There's something wrong with the replicator in my quarters." Leonard scowled at the offending machine.

"Call Scotty. He'll send someone up to fix it. I'm on the bridge right now."

"I really don't want to call him quite yet, and I think you'd better see this."

"On my way."

Within moments Jim was stepping into Leonard's quarters. "So what's with the replicator?"

"Look." Leonard gestured at the items that it had produced that evening.

Jim went over to look. " _These?_ What the hell were you asking it for, Bones?"

"A bowl of grits and some chicory coffee," said Leonard defensively.

"And it produced a bottle of lubricant and a very large dildo." Jim's voice threatened to break into laughter.

"Dammit, Jim, do you really think I would have asked for those things? Or if I had, would I have called you up to come see them?" Leonard exploded.

"No, no," Kirk soothed. "It does seem an odd malfunction, though." He frowned thoughtfully. "This _could_ be Scotty's idea of a joke..."

" Some joke," muttered Leonard.

"... or, hm. That last planetary system didn't _seem_ to have any intelligent life forms, but what if we just didn't find a way to communicate? What if they were telepaths, and one somehow got onto the ship and affected the replicator system? You might have been _asking_ for grits and coffee, but maybe you really _wanted_ something else?"

"Maybe," admitted Leonard. It had been almost two weeks since he and Jim had been able to spend a night together; he hated it when they were on opposite shifts.

"Well, I'd hate for this to be wasted. I'll have Scotty check the system when he comes on duty, but in the meantime..." Jim's voice trailed off as he looked at Leonard with the expression that meant he had some naughty idea in mind.

"Aren't you on duty?"

"Shift's over in less than fifteen minutes now, and Sulu has the conn. No problem." Jim reached for the dildo. "Though if this is the size you prefer, I might develop an inferiority complex," he joked.

Leonard flushed. "It takes more when it's not real," he muttered.

"I see. Let's give you the real thing, then."

**Author's Note:**

> For angela_snape, who wanted Kirk/Bones, "broken replicator."


End file.
